Monday, November 26, 2012

Came a little late to this party...

Apparently, this was discovered in 2005.

CNN posted this two Januarys ago.

So much for my research skillz.

In my history of IBS, I visited two doctors. Both agreed that I have IBS. Neither one suggested antibiotics.

I'm kinda happy about this. Not because I believe that the use of antibiotics is unhealthy. Not because of how I feel about superbugs. Rather, I just don't want to take medicine if I don't have to.

Like Hippocrates said - Let your food be your medicine.

Here are some questions I have:

  • This study refers to IBS as a disease. Does it qualify as a disease? What are the criteria that make it a "disease"?

  • Is it ethical to use antibiotics to treat a condition with so many varied causes and effects?

  • If IBS is a disease, why do some suffer from it only during other illnesses, PMS, and after gastro-intestinal infections?

  • Should women who suffer from IBS during PMS take antibiotics for it?


The NDDIC feels the way I do about this... more studies and tests need to be done.


What do you think???

Monday, November 19, 2012

A Farty Tale

The Fairy Tale pumpkin is part of that collective of foods that are too pretty to eat. There is seriously no better use than to turn one into a carriage and ride it to a fancy party.

The Mennonites were selling Fairy Tale pumpkins at my local market last weekend for a dollar a pop. I bought two. Fairy Tale pumpkins, along with Cheese pumpkins, are the absolute best for making pumpkiny desserts. AND both usually cost five dollars each.

Remember how I'm broke?

I had a box of this in the cupboard...

The universe was calling me to make something...


Okay, so I didn't make the crust by hand.

Typically I buy crusts premade and frozen in the green "gluten free" section of Kimberton Whole Foods.

So this was a step for me. Not a big step. But a step.

I mean, first off... this happened...

My Gluten Free Pantry Pie Crust refused to roll for me. It turned into a big lump - like cookie dough. This possibly could've been avoided if I added oil or gluten free flour to the rolling area.

But I wasn't feelin' that.

So I just pushed it into the pan and...

Every time I make pumpkin pie, I do it differently. I've made vegan, non-vegan, gluten free, gluteny, non-dairy, dairy... I've made it with regular pumpkins, cheese pumpkins, canned pumpkins... you get me. I even made pumpkin pie with melted ice cream once.

I have yet to fuck up a pumpkin pie. 

Okay, that's a lie. 

Once - I used molasses as the sweetener. THAT was dumb. Don't do that. It makes for an ugly looking pie that you have to force feed yourself to eat.

Here's this year's recipe...

Farty Tale Pumpkin Pie

2 cups cooked Fairy Tale Pumpkin
1/2 cup almond milk
2 eggs
2 packets stevia
1 Tablespoon honey or maple syrup
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon cloves

Throw everything into a food processor.
Pour into pie shell.
Cook at 425 degrees for 15 minutes.
Then cook at 350 degrees for 45 minutes.

Set in fridge overnight.

Eat for breakfast because you are great.




What's your favorite thing to do with pumpkin?

What kinds of seasonal desserts are you nommin'?

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Cheap IBS-free Eats!

I am broke.

I am flat broke.

Like seriously - I have NO money. None. This has never happened to me ever.

There's a LONG story to explain how this happened. And it's coming. I promise. It's related to IBS.

For now, while I'm working on putting it all together, let's talk about my current favorite IBS-friendly cheap eat.

The chickpea tortilla taco!

Chickpea tortilla taco

1 cup chickpea flour
1 and 1/4 cup water
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/8 teaspoon cayenne

Heat a pancake skillet on medium.
Whisk together chickpea flour, water, salt and spices.
Let sit for a couple minutes.
Drop tortilla-sized dollops of the batter onto the skillet.
Cook and flip.
Pour refried beans onto each tortilla.
Nom, happily.

The cost? A bag of Bob's Red Mill garbanzo bean flour is a little over three bucks. A can of refried beans can be got for two bucks. This makes a five-dollar dinner for at least two people. And for one person, it could be stretched out to three dinners.

So soft and chewy and comforting... chickpea tortilla tacos make me feel like a million bucks!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Garlicky Romaine Soup

Guess what I made this week?


Garlicky Romaine Soup

1 box of vegetable broth
2 hearts of romaine
1-2 tomatoes chopped
1/2 yellow onion
1/2-whole garlic bulb

Leeks... Carrots... Zukes... Peppers...
Whatever the eff you like!!!

Chop veggies.
Throw into pot with broth.
Get jawn simmering.
(How you do that depends on your stove.)
Turn stove top down to low.
Let soup cook for 1 hour.


What is your favorite soothing satisfying meal?

Sunday, September 30, 2012

FartyGirl's Fall Favorites

This past week, I watched the farm where I used to live. The plan was to build a fire for old time's sake. But alas it never got cold enough. That didn't stop me from chopping a shitload of wood though!

What is it about splitting wood that I love so much?

According to My Fitness Pal, it burns over 300 calories an hour. 

It's also dangerous. It's also a craft.

I'm small and not very strong. How well I split totally depends on how high I lift the maul, and how well I keep my eye on the log. It's not so much muscle strength that cracks the wood. It's how high, how far, how fast and from where the maul comes down on it.

Growing up a bespectacled skinny allergic-to-everything nerd, it blows my mind that I can split wood. So every time I lift that maul over my head, I'm thinking: RAWRRRR!!! I'M SO AWESOME! RAWWWWRRRR!!!!

Couple a great, all-body exercise with something that soul-satisfying - and you've got a great high.

Here are some other current faves of mine...

 Licorice root has been very soothing for me lately. Whenever I drink too much coffee or cranberry juice, this stuff coats my tummy. It also helps quell the farts!

If you've followed this blog, you know that over the past year, I relapsed and started smoking again for the first time in ten years. Over the past two months I've been working on quitting. The problem is my bowels get addicted to cigarettes. I can't go #2 at all. That means IBS-C. 

Triphala has been a great help in keeping things moving. I take two pills before bed. The very next morning, I am cleansed. This is no senna. This is a very gentle cleanse. It doesn't hurt the tum or guts.

Everybody knows I love my kombucha! IBS-wise, Kombucha helps me deal with elevensies and afternoon tea time. It fills me up like a snack! Anytime I feel tired or sicky - the booch fixes it. 

The new booch with chia is my new BFF. The protein in the chia gives me such a wonderful jolt of energy. The fiber in it makes me go #2. And if you didn't know this already, #2 is the key to beating IBS-C. The more #2s, the less IBS-C.


Look! The Clif bar people decided to grow a pair of balls! Finally! They have given us a gluten-free, soy-free, dairy free date bar. And it TOTALLY puts Larabar to the test. Basically, these things are what Larabars USED to be. They taste wholesome.

 ...Nommed while writing this post!


What are your current fall faves?

What autumnal stuff are you nomming? 

What are your current IBS-fighting tricks?

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I'm Falling For You

This past month, I hurt myself once a week.

It's a common theme in my life. I come from a long line of clumsy women. I've written about this before.

But these hurts were not minor hurts. These were in-need-of-antibiotics, call-out-of-work hurts.

First - the Sacony!

I was swimming in the Sacony creek with Classy Poppy one afternoon. Smarty Farty went into the creek with flip flops on. Smarty Farty tripped and her shin went down on a rock.

The rock gouged a hole in my shin.

It would not stop bleeding.

Two days later, I could not walk. Even though the cut did not look bad, the lack of leg use definitely scared me. So I went to my local urgent care center.

As it turned out, I had a bad infection. See the sunburn-colored skin? That's the infection.

There was nothing I could do but take antibiotics.

Now that the cut is healing, there's a terrific scar blossoming. Snotty Boy suggested vitamin E. Two applications and the purple hole began to close up and look a more normal pink color. Thanks Snotty Boy.

On my next adventure, I was playing wiffle ball at Wide Ass. Wide Ass is my pal's estate, a lovely enclave in the woods on the side of Hawk Mountain.

FG playing piano at Wide Ass

I was first baseman. One of my girlpals was at bat. She smacked the ball right to me. As I was bending over to catch it, I caught her hip in my face.

A week later, a door surprised me by clocking me on the other side of my head.

So for about two weeks, alternating sides of my head were bumpy, bruised and ouchy to the touch.

Last but not least - while driving last Sunday, I poured burning hot coffee into my lap.

Deathly afraid that the sores will get infected, I've been very attentive. There's been band-aids on this spot during the day. At night, I let it air dry. In between, there are multiple applications of witch hazel, electrolized water, lavender oil, and tea tree oil.

What does this stuff do?

Witch hazel is most often used on pimply skin. But it can also soothe and hydrate dry skin. It's an astringent - which is weird, because it hydrates. Ultimately it's a toner; it helps clean my cuts.

Electrolized water works as a wonderful disinfectant. I use BabyFace. It's had amazing results on my face skin, my itchy allergy eyes, AND past cuts, sores, and tattoos.

Lavender oil and tea tree oil are both antiseptic oils. Both - poured straight on open sores - will burn. Although the tea tree is much less painful. Right now, I'm really loving how the tea tree oil is drying out the sores and helping them to scab up. For the last year or so, I've been using both oils - instead of bacitration or neosporin. Each time, they keep my cuts from getting infected.

At the bar the other night, I showed my ex my burn spots. He started teasing me - "Did you put garlic on it and chant for healing?"

There's a reason why healing the natural way - when it's possible - is important.

There's a lot of extra shit in bacitration and neosporin - fillers and preservatives. Essential herbal oils actually HELP the body, while healing specific ailments. There's no extra crap. Considering how many pores are located in the skin - it DOES affect the inside of the body, as well as out.

And that is what made this post an IBS-worthy post.

See the lovely sprite Meghan Telpner for more on this.


What kind of first aid treatment do you use?

What's the most horrible accident you ever had?

How did you heal yourself???

Sunday, August 12, 2012

The Microwave Muffin: A Saga

First - I caught word of the microwave muffin on VegWeb.

All of their recipes contained sugar. So I set out to make my own microwave muffin. It had to be vegan, because I was vegan.

Sweet Potato Cake

1/8 cup millet flour
1/8 cup corn or rice flour
1/2 medium sweet potato or yam
1 Tablespoon flax seed meal
1/8 cup almond milk
2 Tablespoons vegan soy-free butter
Pinch of baking powder
Pinch of salt
10-15 drops stevia

Mix with a fork in a mug. Let batter sit for about five minutes. Then nuke for 2 and 1/2 minutes on high. With a little nudge, the muffin should fall right out of the mug.

Here's another one I made...

Coconut Cashew Cake

1/8 cup coconut flour
1/8 cup millet flour
2 Tablespoons flax seed meal
1 Tablespoon cashew butter
1/8-1/4 cup almond milk
Pinch of baking powder
Pinch of salt
10-15 drops of stevia

*For supermoist cake: add 1 Tablespoon vegan butter*

Mix with a fork in a mug. Let batter sit for about five minutes. Then nuke for 2 and 1/2 minutes on high. With a little nudge, the muffin should fall right out of the mug.

Lucuma Icing

1 Tablespoon vegan butter
3 Tablespoons lucuma powder
Almond milk
7-10 drops of stevia

Combine ingredients. Whisk with fork. Add almond milk to desired consistency. It tastes like maple syrup!!!

I played with different shapes and forms...

... this one was made in the bottom of a big bowl!

... and layered with raw honey and tahini sauce

Then - I discovered...

Not vegan, not egg-free, this muffin has the best consistency than any other I've made. It's quicker than the rest. It's cheaper. It gives me POWER!

And it's delicious...

Here's the current recipe I use for the one-minutey... which has since become two-minutey...


1/4 cup flax seed meal
1 egg
1 tablespoon cocoa or cinnamon
1 teaspoon coconut or olive oil
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon non-dairy milk
1 packet or 5-10 drops of stevia
salt pinches

Mix with a fork in a mug. Nuke for 2 minutes on high. With a little nudge, the muffin should fall right out of the mug.

On Facebook, I saw Sarena from the The Non-Dairy Queen doing something completely different!

Chocolate Protein Microwave Cake

1 scoop chocolate protein powder (I used Life's Basics), this was a serving of protein powder per their   measurements
2 TBSP cocoa powder (I used Scharffen Berger)
2 TBSP quick oats
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
3 packs stevia
1/2 cup chocolate almond milk (I used Almond Breeze)
1/2 cup egg whites

Mix everything together. Pour into a sprayed microwave safe soup size bowl. Microwave 6-7 minutes.

Here's her blueberry one!


How you feel about the microwave?

What's your favorite light and powerful breakfast? 

What breakfast works for your tum?